Doctors Are People Too

I’m Kirsten, a 37-year-old stay-at-home mom in Olmsted Falls, Ohio. I was diagnosed with triple positive invasive ductal carcinoma on Dec. 5, 2017.


My day that lives in infamy! I was 36. My son had just turned 3 and my daughter was almost 3 months. Life as we knew it fell apart in front of our eyes.  I went from taking only a prenatal vitamin to carrying around a list of medications.  I had six big bad chemos (taxotere, carboplatin, perjeta and herceptin) and 12 biologic chemos (perjeta and herceptin). Big bad chemo was followed by a partial mastectomy and 20 rounds of radiation.


After what felt like a million doctor appointments and mundane questionnaires it was time to have some fun with these doctors. It started with my yearly physical questionnaire.  I have horrible handwriting so I will transcribe my answers.  My PCP was the doctor who sent me for my mammogram in November 2017.


I think the favorite thing she said while going through my questionnaire was asking: “So, you are admitting your illicit drug of choice is Eucrisa?” Don’t forget doctors are people, too!  They need a good laugh every now and again! Please, kick cancer in the dick!


What concerns do you have today?  Ha! I guess my crazy anxiety?!?!


How often do you go to the dentist? 2xs a year 


Any problems with your hearing or vision?  Nope


Who do you live with? Husband, disgusting son who brings home germs from preschool and the sweetest daughter ever.  


What do you do for a living? SAHM... cook, cleans, drive, parent and try to stay sane.


Do you smoke, currently? Nope, gross!


Did you ever smoke? My mom caught me smoking while pumping gas when I was 17. It’s shocking I lived to 37! P.S - They were menthol 100s!  I was sooo cool.


If yes, when did you quit?  See story above.


How often to you use illicit or prescription drugs not prescribed to you?  Current.  I stole my son’s Eucrisa because I had some Eczema.  


My dad is a doctor and he is very serious when it comes to his profession.  He has a bad habit of looking down and fluttering his eyes when he is thinking.  It's super obvious and awkward!  So he was talking to a patient with this super weird eye thing he does. The patient got onto his knees and the floor looking up at my dad.  My dad totally lost it and the patient has become one of my parents’ best friends!  


Please remember doctors are people too!  They love a good laugh.  


P.S.: Eucrisa is an illicit drug when not prescribed to you!  

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©2017 Humor Beats Cancer | Humor Beats Cancer is a 501(c)(3) tax exempt nonprofit organization.

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