Oh My Poor Nipple Rolled On the Floor

My name is Cindy Sevell, I live in Connecticut and I wrote the book, "It Is What It Fucking Is." It's raw. It's honest. I say it like it is. There is absolutely no way to describe cancer other than the way I have in this book. I was first diagnosed with breast cancer at age 44. I had DCIS with IDC throughout my left breast. Given there was a 45 percent chance that my right breast would get it too, I elected to have both removed immediately. My first plastic surgeon was a butcher so I ended up needing eight major breast surgeries -- two with her and six with a new doctor. I was, and still am, a single mom of two beautiful children, four dogs and a cat. Yes, it's a zoo here, but I wouldn't have it any other way. There's a lot of love in this home.

Cancer cost me a lot. I lost my breasts. I lost my business. I lost my family. I lost a lot of money. But I gained something new. I gained a new perspective in life. I gained a new appreciation, a new sense of living and a new reality. I wish it never happened, and I still cry over it, but it did, and you know what? "It Is What It Fucking Is!" Here's a little excerpt from my book, based on a true story!! This is a fucking funny story! When I was first diagnosed with breast cancer, an old high school friend of mine stopped by my shop to give me a little support. She was recently diagnosed herself and had just had a double mastectomy. She showed me what the expanders look like, had me feel them (yes, I felt her up!) and gave me as much moral support as possible. She then shared a fucking funny story with me. This friend of mine was petite, very small breasted and was able to keep her nipples. She had a nipple sparing double mastectomy. After surgery, she was home, recuperating. One day, while in the kitchen with her family, dressed in a loose robe for comfort, she felt something odd and looked down. Holy fucking shit! Her nipple fell off! Yes, this is a TRUE fucking story, people!! Her nipple fell off, landed on the floor, rolled away from her and the family dog ran after it. She’s screaming at the top of her lungs, “MY NIPPLE! MY NIPPLE! STOP THAT DOG – HE’S EATING MY NIPPLE!!” She frantically ran after the dog, trying to save the rollaway nipple. The entire family ran after the dog to save her rollaway nipple. The dog fucking ATE it. Yes, the dog ate her nipple. She was in hysterics. She called her surgeon, left a message explaining her terrible situation, that her nipple fell off and the dog ate it. She was horrified, absolutely beyond devastated. They were prepared to sift through the dog shit once the dog took a shit to save that nipple. Thankfully, the surgeon eventually called back and informed her that she, in fact, did not lose her nipple. The skin died, similar to a sunburn, and the old skin fell off. Her nipple was still intact and would regenerate the color in time. Now, this story had me cracking up. There’s always humor to be found, even in the most uncomfortable situations. The visual is fucking funny!!

©2017 Humor Beats Cancer | Humor Beats Cancer is a 501(c)(3) tax exempt nonprofit organization.

  • Spotify
  • Instagram - Black Circle
  • Black Facebook Icon
  • Black Twitter Icon

Site designed by Harrison Prifogle

Cover and page art by Natalie Battaglia • Logo by Stacy Curtis